Knowledge Network: Research and Opinions

By Phaedra Cucina ‘99

Business trips are rough on kids. Yet they are an almost inevitable part of a professional woman’s career. Whether you travel often or just once in awhile, you, your kids and the caretaker left behind are put to the test as you head out for the airport.

The defining moment for me was when my oldest daughter was three. I had traveled for work since she was born, but for some reason, this day – this trip – was different. She wailed. She pounded her tiny fists on the floor. She braced her little body against the front door. She was very clear – I was leaving and she was mad.

The worst part was that after many goodbyes, when I finally had to leave or risked missing the plane, she followed me out the front door and onto the driveway, begging me not to leave. Standing on my front porch, with my daughter back inside the house and the door locked so she couldn’t follow me out again, I could still hear her crying.

It broke my heart. I thought to myself that no child, or parent, should have to go through this.

I am not alone, unfortunately. Since the launch of my children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip, working parents across the country have been telling me similar stories. The guilt is enormous. So is the stress of trying to balance what needs to happen while you’re gone with the work responsibilities you’re headed toward. Not to mention that in today’s times, if your trip is important enough to take you away from the office, you can’t afford to be worried about what’s going on back home.

There is a better way – for kids and their parents. Make your next trip easier on everyone, including you, by following these easy, no-tears tips:

1. Plan for Fun – For trips longer than two nights away, arrange with the caretaker a special night out while you’re gone – a trip to the movies, a play date with a special friend, pizza for dinner, etc. Activities will depend on the age of the child, but you’ll know what your child holds special in his or her heart.

2. Take Flight – If someone can drop you off, have the kids come with you to the airport to say goodbye (this works especially well with Sunday departures and if you live relatively close to the airport). Many kids find airports exciting and it will help them to visualize what you’re doing. Mom’s love it, too, because of the last-minute hugs and kisses they get.

3. Prepare Together – A simple, but important thing to do is create or decorate a calendar to show your departure and when you’ll be back home. Try something new – glue Hershey Kisses to the calendar for a special treat each day you’re away.

4. Pack Together – Let your child or children pick out a special stuffed animal or token you can take with you. One mom I spoke with has her 3-year-old pick out a special hair ribbon to tie on the suitcase, and it changes with every trip. BFF bracelets, or other special things that both you and the child will have while you’re gone, help them feel connected to you.

5. Create a Ritual – If you’re gone often, ask the caretaker to do something with your kids that’s extra special and only happens when you’re away. It could be going to a special place or as simple as getting to sleep in sleeping bags on the living room floor.

6. Be on the Lookout – Place special notes or cards in the children’s room, on their car seats, in the arms of their favorite stuffed animal, and other creative places they’re sure to see.

7. Pucker Up! – If you won’t be gone long, put on bright red lipstick and give the kids a great big kiss on their tummies – no one will know it’s there but them! A preferred method for most dads: let the kids pick out a temporary tattoo and put it on them as a special reminder of you.

8. Be Silly with Skype – With videoconferencing, you can play peek-a-boo, I Spy, read stories, or look at the calendar you made together and talk about when you’re coming home. Have fun!

9. Call Early – So often it’s hard to catch the kids in the evening, with meetings running late or business dinners. Kids are often already asleep before you can make the call. Instead, call when the kids are just getting up. That’s when they’re in that lovey, snuggly mindset and you can start their day off with a smile. Kids won’t talk? Try reading them their favorite story (be sure to pack a copy of the book in your suitcase!)

10. Capture Their Minds – Show your child or children where you are going and tell them how you’re going to get there. Your goal is to position the trip as an exciting adventure you can’t wait to tell them about when you get home. Once back, don’t forget to share the fun – spend time talking about the famous or typical things you did in the area of the country/world where you were. Go over the maps again, pull out your camera, or bring home some postcards and really capture their imaginations.

Once the kids feel better about you being away, you’ll feel better. As you head out the door for your next trip, more relaxed and focused thanks to these tips, you’ll also start to see a glint of business travel’s silver lining. Whether it’s the fact that you’ll get an uninterrupted night’s sleep for once, or that the kids and their caretaker get some important bonding time, or that you’re modeling for your kids how to handle a busy, successful career, there are lots of benefits from being away for a few days. What’s critically important is that parents remember to position work always in a positive light – not something that is taking you away from their kids – as these young hearts and minds will eventually enter the workforce themselves one day.

Phaedra Cucina, a 1999 Thunderbird graduate, is the author of the highly acclaimed children’s book, My Mommy’s on a Business Trip. Available exclusively at: www.mommytrip.com.

Title: My Mommy’s on a Business Trip
Author: Phaedra Cucina, a 1999 Thunderbird graduate, is a marketing specialist and mother of two young children who has worked in corporate America since the early 1990s. This is Phaedra’s first book, and the first in a series designed to explain the world of work to small children. Phaedra grew up near Detroit, Michigan, and now lives in Austin, Texas.
Publisher: DolceVita Media (October 2008)
Price: $18.99
Description: Hardcover, 24 pages
ISBN: 978-9818807-0-9
Information: www.dolcevitawoman.com

Posted: 05|8|09 at 8:42 am.
Filed under: Human Resource Management.
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